Upon arrival at the child … If she has no school, can I still pick her up at 2:40 pm? Only the court can decide that. How do I explain to my daughter the best I can that she is not alone even though she does not see her dad. What can I do if the step mom treats my son badly? Instead, try to work out some short visits at a time and place you feel comfortable with. Brette's Answer: The first issue would be your son's safety. Just recently he has taken an interest in seeing her. Unless it is stipulated in your divorce decree signed by you and the judge. Is it illegal for my boyfriend to sleep in the same room as my child? This problem often manifests itself when one parent (usually the custodial parent) objects to the other parent's spouse or significant other going to pick up the children from school or for visitation time. If I want him I can go get him. What if he refuses to pick our son up from sports practice? How do I go about setting up a visitation schedule? The goal of the court is to keep the family unit as cohesive as possible. You only hurt your children when you fight, yell and talk about each other in front of those kids. Don't make anything up, but be honest that you just don't know why. Tell him you're concerned about your son and want to work together to help him. Generally, no. If he is not actually spending time with your daughter, then he needs to be ordered that visitation time is to be spent with him. Does the 2 hours start when I go get him, or does it start when I get back to my brother's house? What does the therapist think about it? If they decided to file for grandparent visitation, they could get an order giving them at least what they have now, since they have a continuing relationship with your child. Think how your daughter would feel when she is 8 and her brother goes on visitation and she doesn't. I feel it is detrimental to my daughter and that he is putting his sexual needs first, but he tells me it's none of my business! What age can she voice her opinion on not going if court orders visits again? Is there anything legal I can do to stop him from doing this? His father takes him for 4 weeks each summer and lives 5 states away. I am concerned that my son’s father is going to leave my son with his pregnant girlfriend while he's at work during his visitation. There are lots of possible solutions. Last winter he had me take them to a psychologist because our youngest didn't like him, he blamed me. It's hard, but one thing you have to remember is that he may not do things the same way you would, but that doesn't mean he's doing it all wrong. Leanne's Question: I recently filed for child support against my ex. It needs to start slowly and he's got to be on time and show up when he's supposed to. Brette's Answer: You should make it clear before there is an order that she doesn't want to go. pass out with your friends, don't be depressing or you will start to resent him. Well we did that & he still will not see or speak with her. My wife took my one year old son and moved out, telling me I could only see him on weekends. Sometimes he doesn't get them, other times the kids call early and want to come home because they don't like spending time with him. It would depend on what agreement the two of you have. At court "for the stability of the little girl" the judge gave me sole custody on a temporary basis while a parental evaluation is done. And then gradually to alternate weekends. Your first reaction is pure and simple anger. Is there anything I can do to protect my daughter while she's at her dad's house? Visitation with My Ex and His New Girlfriend. You should talk to an attorney who can help you. My child has no clue who he is. You're right to be angry and upset, but as a parent you need to think about your son and his needs. If I go pick them up at their grandmas, can he turn me in for kidnapping? On a custom Order it may not have that provision. Is there much you can do about it? It's a great way to help everyone ease into the situation. Heather's Question: My son is in middle school and is very passionate about participating in school sports. Can I have weekend visitation if I'm living in a car? As the parent though, you need to think about your son's future and what the implications are for him to have no relationship with his biological father. She also needs to be comfortable sleeping there, so start by having naptime there. Tell him exactly what you will agree to and remind him that if he does not agree, he's only going to get the minimum visitation. I asked him not to take them on the freeway with them and he told me I can't tell him where he can and can't drive his kids. Amanda Asks: My husband filed for divorce and it is currently pending. My step brother has said many times that he’s wanted to hurt her and even got CPS involved by falsely accusing someone in our family of sexually assaulting him. The term “reasonable visitation” leaves it up to the parents to specify dates and times for the visitation. Or add a few hours onto Saturday or Sunday. What if he refuses visitation with our oldest child? As an initial matter, it's important to know your state's child custody laws and find answers to common custody and visitation legal questions.Next, below you will find some of the most frequently asked questions regarding parental visitation rights after a separation or divorce. If he files for modification, get an attorney who will help you make your case. What are my kid's rights if their father hasn't seen them for 6 years? Good luck. Hello My name is Thomas Powell My girlfriend and I are trying to find out what rights she has as far as Child custody. You can't delegate it without agreement or without a court order allowing someone else to do the pick-up. It also sounds like he might need some direction about what exactly he ought to do during visitation. Brette's Answer: If the order does not require supervision, he cannot stop her from having regular visitation. Brette's Answer: Well, it would seem to me to be common sense that he needs his own, although I can't tell you what your state case law says. I think you'll need a Doctor to testify and provide proof of what has happened in some of these instances. Brette's Answer: Unless his parents have a grandparent visitation order, they technically have no rights. Can custody or visitation of my child be changed? Mr. Shaw went to bat for me and won full custody for me at not just one, but two trials, in front of two different judges. I have witnessed the grandparents letting the child, who is 2, run around a store unsupervised. If your child does not wish to go, you would have to have your original order modified by the court. Do I have to let his wife pick up the kids for visitation? You should get an attorney who can help you do that. Can she legally do this? What can I do if he has seizures and drives with our child? Brette's Answer: You need to show there has been a change in circumstances since the order was entered. If you're upset about the allegations there is nothing to do since they were unfounded. Pam's Question: Can a judge order me to disclose my medical records if I want to extend my visitation with my son. . My son started kindergarten this year and the school says that if my ex goes to the school to pick him up, they would have to allow it. If he wants to take you back to court, that's his choice, but he will lose. If there are grandparents, they can also file a petition for visitation for themselves, which would offer a way for the extended family to see the child. Maybe you could work together to iron out problems. It's up to him to go to court and ask for it. What happens if one of us doesn't take the parenting class? Does my ex's wife have any rights as a step parent? Catherine's Question: My ex is taking me to court for visitation. Is he allowed to keep all contact from me? I learned that one of the twins was being molested by their half-brother while they were visiting with their father. My neighbor had a heart attack and I got yelled at by my wife for giving CPR ? Your mom can file for a modification of the order (and ask for an emergency temporary order) and depending on your age, you may be able to testify. HE doesn't get to tell YOU how this is going to work out. and likewise, why won't be in a position to your friends husbands ever come to p.c.. you adult men up? If you need to take the kids back to the psychologist, do that, should things get worse. I would like for the kids to spend some time with him and I have offered to set up visits at my mom's when he takes the class. In most Standard Visitation Orders, there are General Terms and Conditions that say who can be present when a child is picked up or dropped off. Instead, why not try to be supportive? Brette's Answer: You can seek to have visitation modified so that he cannot drive with her in the car. To win a child custody case, you should show the judge that you wish to promote the best interest of your child. Robin's Question: I have full legal custody of my children, and their father has visitation rights of every other weekend. Brette's Answer: It is dangerous for your child to be with him if he does not know how to treat her or use the medication. My Ex wife gives me a difficult time when it comes to trying to involve my girlfriend. He returned him a short time later. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. It says we have 45 days to take this class or our case could be dismissed. What if his girlfriend wants to spend time with the kids? Amanda's Question: My ex got a truck that only has lap belts in it. Can he pick them up and return them off whenever he feels like it? It's not healthy for the kids to sit around waiting for him all the time. Brette's Answer: I think it is hurtful and damaging that he will not see your older child. The kids come back without having bathed, brushed their teeth, or changed clothes for days. Sue's Question: My divorce was over a cheating husband. I found out they are living in Fl. But he has been in her life since she was 3 and now she's 8. He has a right to live with her if he wants to. Question: We have a temporary visitation court order. Good luck. No judge is going to deny a person visitation because he or she cannot afford a large home with multiple bedrooms. The practices are every day after school. Updated on September 29, 2009 J.P. asks from Clayton, NC on September 27, 2009 16 answers. What should I do before the next visitation? You can use a supervised visitation center as a place to drop off and pick up your child for visits. While courts cannot force visitation to take place, I think a judge would be very interested in this situation. What exactly does limited visitation mean and am I doing anything wrong regarding it? Is this a "reasonable" visitation schedule for an infant? By Saturday at 3am he is gone to work. Can I refuse to let him take them if they are not in the right restraints? How do I fight back against the false accusations? Brette's Answer: I think you need to get some medical evidence to back this up. At some point he is going to want to know his father and will find him on his own. I have complete physical and legal custody, while he has "reasonable accommodation" for visitation and needs my written permission for our child to leave the state. He takes her every weekend and he keeps telling me that he will take her away from me if I do not turn her over every weekend. I mean its your money to waste but seems kind of pointless. Talk to an attorney. You can sign in to vote the answer. You can represent yourself in family court. All states place a great deal of emphasis on the child's relationship with both parents and many believe the child should regularly see both parents. You also need to be moved in with your new boyfriend before anyone can evaluate what that situation is like. As long as he doesn't do it around the children and does not create an environment that is not safe for the kids, it really has no impact. If he will not give her the children, she can file for a violation and enforcement with the court. Every time she comes home from visitation, she has bruises (once even fingerprint bruises on her thigh) or her G tube site is raw and red. For example, overnights would not make sense for many months. For example, if the parent is instructed in the visitation order to pick up the child at a specific time, and he or she is always late causing emotional distress to the child and inconvenience to the custodial parent, a letter can be sent to the court to have the visitation rules changed or to inform the court that the rules are not being followed. Is there a friend or relative who might be willing to let him come over and visit them at their home? Now he wants me to "hand our son over" when it is convenient for him. ? The court may appoint a guardian ad litem to represent her. I called my ex to inform her, but couldn't reach her . ... Child visitation issues can be complex and emotional, so … What rights does he have if he has shared legal custody? My ex lives in a different state and new wife will not allow me to talk to my son on the phone. What rights does this give the children's father regarding visitation and scheduling? He also encourages her to lie to me and is verbally abusive to me on the phone and in front of our daughter. I think you need to get some distance between you to reduce the anger, but you also need to find a way for the kids to safely continue to have a relationship with him. I have been letting him use my seats, but last week he refused to bring the seats to me. Should he be seeing the kids every day of the week? I'm sorry your mom was sick and I hope she's ok. Navigating child custody in the time of coronavirus ... place orders if they go too far out of their way to drop-off or pick-up a child. He lives three hours away in a one-bedroom apartment. You should be allowed to travel with your children and the court would certainly allow that. He drops in and out of his life, one minute saying he won't be seeing him again and then randomly showing up at his school to pick him up. If you end up with court-ordered visitation, I highly recommend that your son see a counselor. You should be able to have daytime visitation in a public place like a park or library or at a friend's home. Her dad said if she doesn't have school then there is no visit. Doesn't sound like that is case her though, or I would have expected to hear about it. Josie's Question: My daughter has custody of her seven year old daughter and her ex sees her every Wed., every other Mon. Would they just give him my kids without them knowing him first? They have been dating over a year at this point and she wants to be able to spend time with my children. Paige's Question: My husband's attorney is filing a contempt of court saying I denied visitation, which is not true. Jennifer's Question: My children of 10, 9, and 6 have visitation with their father and they came home today and told me that he punched my son in the head a few times and smacked my daughter open hand in the face. She is not going to accept him immediately but she's young and there is time for them to get to know each other. Ideas for updating your look after divorce. Linda's Question: Do I have any rights to tell my husband that he cannot have the kids spend the night with him if his girlfriend is also sleeping there? Ann's Question: My ex is under a temporary restraining order. Brette's Answer: It sounds like the daughter is a minor, and in that case, it is up to her custodial parent. Eva's Question: My ex and I have been trying to work out the every other weekend thing, but he commonly calls the night before HIS weekend to say that he has to work late (voluntary over time) and can't take the kids. If children change alone in the room or in a bathroom there is generally not a problem. At the very least, your mom can request a Law Guardian or Guardian ad litem you can speak with who can represent your point of view. Candice's Question: I am scared that my ex will get visitation with my son. Question: My ex recently got visitation rights every other weekend. What are the legal ramifications if he's denied me visitation for 7 years? We have a daughter that is almost 3 years old, and now he wants to take our daughter over to his new house. If he has none, you need an order that says that. Her daughter was born out of wedlock and her and her (soon to be) ex husband got married after her daughter was born. But he won't let me pick them up early even though he is not there? Brette's Answer: It does not sound like your order requires you to respond, although honestly you could simply keep pasting in the same response, something along the lines of "X's therapist does not recommend contact at this time." Is there anything I can do about him wanting visitation with my child and not the others? Before Dad can leave child with a gf or other person, he must first inquire with the biomom to see if she would like to be with child on Saturday. He can always try to seek visitation again in the future but it doesn't sound like he would be successful. Depending on how old they are, that can affect the court's decision about custody. Brette's Answer: You can petition to have the schedule modified. If he tried to kill her before being born and beat me, why wouldn't he do it now? I think they should have their own room. Chanel's Question: A month after my husband moved out, I found out that he has a girlfriend who stays the night. Brette's Answer: Custodial interference is grounds for a change in custody. Can I refuse visitation if I feel that he is mentally unstable? It's always best to have an up-to-date order, but if your ex has complied so far you probably have nothing to worry about. Step dad has also recently been charged and sentenced with drug possession. His mother is out of the picture. Can he stop me from seeing the kids if the parenting plan wasn't filed? Additionally, your ex-spouse should not be turning your child against you or trying to get your child to refuse visitation. We have never been married and there are no custody papers, but I allow him to see her whenever he wants. Danielle's Question: I have 3 children ages 10, 9 and 5. Not legally, but you need to consider when you start dating and your boyfriend wants to help out by picking the kids up. Try to arrange for reasonable phone contact. Can I get the visitation that we have in place now, changed? I have physical custody and control and he just has visitation rights. Can I request he can't live with someone else until married? What you need to be careful about is the fact that his not showing up doesn't quite prove your case. Brette's Answer: This is actually a common situation. Latika's Question: My son is now 8 and I am the custodial parent. He told my 6 year old that it was ok to skip sometimes and it was ok to quit school too. 4 year olds are not reliable reporters, so she might not be telling you exactly what happened. He is not allowed to attend his father's other children's birthday parties. Take your son to the doctor after each visit and see what the doctor thinks. Courts generally do not suspend all visitation rights unless there is a serious emotional or physical danger to the child. Question: I am the supervisor for my brother's visits with his 3year old. Be aware he will likely file with the court to be able to continue it and then you will need to provide proof of your concerns. We have found my dad's ex. Your ex has no power to decide anything about your rights. Good luck. If you don't trust her, I think that's a good reason. If there's quid pro quo here, I don't see what his beef is. Christina's Question: We have joint legal custody and his parenting time during the school year is Fridays after school and every weekend. Good luck. He isn't coming to see us anyway. There is nothing in their custody orders saying that she has to be supervised at all. How can I insure he takes better care of the kids during visitation? Would a judge allow him to have visitation every weekend? I am the custodial parent, and I am fine with HIM driving, but I don't know or trust HER. Can I limit the amount of visitation, or have supervised visits until he can kick his sex addiction habits? What forms do I need to revise the visitation schedule? Even though you may have a custody and access schedule, a parenting plan, a separation agreement, or court order that says when you spend time with your child, your partner may not let you see your child. Cindy's Question: I was told by my lawyer a year ago that my ex needed his own car seats for our children, instead of taking my seats each time. Audrina's Question: I have a divorce decree that does not specify visitation. You arrive to pick up the kids and your ex isn’t home. it is his co-parenting time, but if it becomes excessive (in that he is not there 50% of the time) she may request a modification of that part of the order. If he would be safe, then this really should be up to him. I think you're right to worry about a pool. I got her a cell phone in an effort to be able to have contact with her during visitation. I've found unbelievably awful things on his laptop. Is extending visitation to Monday morning wise if he lives 2 hours away? What should I do? Even moms who are married to their children's fathers often feel frustrated when he doesn't do things in the same way she would. Brette's Answer: The person who does not attend is the one who will face contempt charges. How can he take here away from me? Brette's Answer: These decisions are made based on what is in the best interest of the child. Pam Asks: I was awarded sole custody of my 2 year old son this spring. At least this way you would know your son will definitely be home on certain days and may be gone on others. If the parties can't agree, they'll end up back in court. Julie's Question: I am the custodial parent, and there has never been any court ordered visitation. How do I get this changed? What if he always cancels visitation at the last minute? I find it strange that your grandparents filed charges against you but then let you move in. Obviously you have a very good reason for this though. How do I get my son back on a schedule without blocking a relationship with his father? Nowhere in our decree does it say that I have to respond. Is it okay for me to be dating a married man (his wife does not know) since he is more happy with me and will leave the marriage when he can? His father was very abusive to me and I had no evidence of this except my mental state. After six years together, he moved out and moved in with a girlfriend. Can he stop her from picking up the kids? You can ask to have visitation suspended while the court figures out what is going on - which may involve a psych evaluation of your ex and possibly one of your child. What can I do if he only wants visitation with one child? Cindy's Question: I have sole custody of our 17 year old son. My daughter does not want to continue seeing him because she is scared of him and want no contact with him. He is now ten months old and still very breast milk dependent. Am I obligated to send the kid's medications if we alternate weeks? This was his weekend, but now my ex is telling me he's not giving back my children and that he's taking me to court. Sabrina's Question: I have been divorced for three years now and he has been harassing me for the past year (since I got engaged). If I allow him to go over there, can I request supervised visitation? I recommend you get an attorney, but I also recommend you take a deep breath and realize that your ex is going to go on with his life and you can't change that. But is this true or are you trying to just be difficult? There is a lot of manipulation and bullying from my narcissistic ex-husband and his family to my children. My daughter just met her real Dad and is afraid to visit him. He wants me to provide my set for him. She hates going with her father and I have to prepare her days in advance and even then she cries frantically. Last month I had to get a protective order against him. We are going to court for child support and I have heard that he wants to see his son now. Brette's Answer: Unless your order prohibits it, no. Brette's Answer: Your ex isn't required to tell you anything about what he does, unless your court order or agreement specifically directs him to do so. He said that he doesn't show up because our son has an attitude with him. 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